Puzzled Life

Out of the box

Scattered on the floor

The little kid jumbles the pieces

And runs out the door.

A game for him

But what about the blocks

Innocence of the kid,

Adulthood mocks.

The morning grass is waiting

To wet your feet with dew

To make you feel

As the day, New.

But the bare feet are lost

In the race up to the top

Everyone is dancing to a tune

Till dead they drop.

Pulling and pushing

That's just the way

Drowning in money

Is how they want to stay.

Signs and signatures

Authenticating documents
mercury levels rise

but, Alas, no amendments.

The pieces still lie

Will the puzzle ever be solved

Or like life

It'll unjumble on its fall.

My bouquet of Friends

Fourteen years of school (or more preferably Pre College). Period. I’m not going to be quote clichés saying I remember how on the first day I couldn’t stop crying because I didn’t want to go and shit like that because I most certainly don’t remember my first day of school And I’m sure most of us don’t. It’s not the classy building, not the reputation of school or the teachers (no, not even the weirdest) BUT the most silly, foolish, random, hyper active, weird, freaky, retarded bunch of friends that make us want to relive those days...

It’s been two years since I left school. Though the first year I just thought I was on a vacation till it hit me, when I joined college. There is nothing that I can probably complain about my college life. I live, I laugh, I enjoy, I lie, and I fool around, sleep in class and obviously even bunk. It’s awesome. But when I’m at college (I’m sorry, I’m guilty) I don’t even think about those flowers that I picked in school, the best thing that ever happened to my life- my buddies, my friends, my chums. The smile that settles on my face when I see a familiar name on the phone’s screen is indescribable. And despite the fact that I can go on talking for hours together when you call, I hardly take the initiative.

I have no clue why.

I picked some friends when I was so little I could hardly even spell the word, some when I started having secrets, when I got into that AWKWARD stage of my life, when I needed a hand, a shoulder And when I needed someone to walk along. All of them left a mark, even those that went wrong. And there certainly were “friendships gained and lost” each year but there are some who surprisingly still chose to bear with me. I am glad that they did because the world would have been a shitty place without them.

I know none of you listens to me after a point and my shouting doesn’t help either. I know my uncontrollable bouts of laughter after my own poorest of jokes makes you go “face palm” and that super detailing of stories that I do is annoying too. But i also know that you’re going to miss all that nonsense the moment you realize that 6 months is a long time. That’s what’s been on my mind since the time it struck me (At around 7PM today), watching a bunch of the amazing people drive away.

I hope i faked my smile well while saying goodbye because I sure as hell haven’t been able to put one back since.

A gift From a friend

Here's something different that i wanna share. The title being ironic for the day because what i got today was in no way a gift.

But anyways getting back where i was. There is loads of stuff on this blog that has been a Broth of my own Brain but this post, this poem is FOR me. Atleast when it started it was. Though the "poet", after editing it and making it a hell lot more awesome still claims it is, i find it hard to believe. It started as nonsense as usual but you would be surprised what "my" company and 4 continuous hours of MBBS lectures can bring out in somebody.

(And hulloo "one track mind"ers its NOT by my boy friend..!!)

with lots and lots of thanks here is a post publically showing my appreciation

The Girl Sitting Beside Me

Like a flower blooming in every season

She rejoices, the scent of air is enough a reason

Like the forever lush green grass, she never withers

Along with her even through the narrowest path, happiness slithers

Being filled with light, no scars shall sear

She dances with delight at the tunes only she can hear

Her own distinct nest of joy and bliss she weaves

Oh can’t you see her trying to catch the flying golden leaves!

Without wings, she is flying, wavering among the happy clouds

Lightening up every moment she lives

Falling freely in an abyss of contentment

She is thoughtless about past and future-

The girl sitting beside me…

Extraordinarily weaved into words by
Sankalp Katara

AND
proudly presented,

Revalation

The pebbled path

Had lead me to the street

Uneven and sharp stoned

But i still didn't feel a thing

under my two bleeding feet.

I kept on walking

Unsure of the choices i had made

Blazing lights moved towards me,

my eyes they glared

But about death, little i cared.

Questions filled my mind

Thoughts, i tried to consolidate

Was this how it was meant to be

Or was i playing with fate?

Who was i pretending to be

To please whom and with what intent

Why did i have to be

Someone else other than me

How could it make me content?

What was it that i was running after

Or was i running away?

Was i to be the ocean,

Deep, serene and blue

Or be the sky that was casting its hue?

Pondered on my reflection,

It finally dawned upon me

How from my mind i let it flee

6 billion people in the world

And He sent me just to be ME.

Time to Change The Calender

In 2010 i saw myself cross roads of repentance, frustration, hard work, the joy of achieving my goal, fun and ultimately freedom. All this made me a new person all together. And even though i sometimes miss those days, i certainly don't want to go back there because I wanna move ahead.

30th Dec '10 made me wonder what actually would be new in just two days.The Sun would rise in the same way, the birds would chirp in the same tone, the sky would be of the same colour and all the people would just be the same. So why the hype?

And 31st just made me want to go out and have fun on the last day of the year (which is totally opposite to what i felt 24hrs ago). All these years i had always wanted to go out and party but ended up being stuck up so the clock striking 12 on the 31st had made no difference to me. This year too i knew nothing out of the ordinary would happen (though in my mind i was praying it does) leaving me to wonder the importance of the 1st of January.

For everyone individually the new year begins on their birthday, therefore technically the new year begins on a different day for everyone. Okay I understand that for universal unambiguity somebody chose to fix the dates. But why 1st of Jan to be the beginning? It could have been any random day. 1st Jan doesn't even make sense. A new season does not begin, the Earth isn't the farthest or the nearest to the sun that day, the moon isn't lined in a particular way, or any of that so why chose this?

The Hindu calender in this context makes sense because the new year starts with the start of spring, which marks the beginning of new life with the sprouting of seeds. Also its based on the "lunisolar" activities so the makers definitely put some though into it.

The English calender also doesn't account for the extra 0.25 day occurring every year. Why divide the months and weeks of the year in such a way that you have to make up with a leap year after every 3 normal ones?

The Hindu calender system too doesn't have a perfect 365 day year. And it bothers me that if a universal system has to be followed why not make it flawless? Why rectify after every 3 years?? or add a full month after every 32.5 (even that's not a round figure) lunar months??

If anyone knows logical explanations please tell me because all this seems wrong to me.

Anyways a Happy new year (cliche.. my new year started 2months ago) from "the still puzzled and resolution-less this time" Me

Perplexed

Standing at a crossroad we all call life

I wondering why there’s so much to strive

my head was spinning

but the thoughts weren’t winning

was trying to justify what a life I was living.

the left seemed to guide me right

but the right was wrong

what the hell was I thinking

was the question All along.

What I had was wonderful

But I thought it was just a handful

Did I really want more?

Or should this be the last score

I left my heart to explore.

Felt like i was walking on a balancing beam

Does it have to be as difficult as it always seems

Surprisingly, the answer was staring right at me

But like its meant to be,

The beauty of what you have, you never see.

The underappreciated Best friend

I'm tired of being the one you can fall back upon
Tired of being your 'sweety pie'
It pains me that you forget
There are times when even i want to cry.

I'm tired of acting silly
Just to make you smile
How can you not see
Even i need that once in a while.

I made you stand, gave you a shoulder
But why do i have to do it
All by myself when i fall
And when i find my boulder

So i wish to be all alone, even when i'm down
But i fake a smile, i don't bring up the subject
I make my life frown
Just so that yours can be perfect.

After another free trip round the sun..

After another free trip round the sun i haven't been taller, prettier, goofier or any of that but it sure made me "new and improved" in some ways (okay improved might be a little over the top).

Another year went by and i was thrown into different situations. I tried analyzing people, their reaction, my reaction and what could have been my reaction if i were someone else in the given situation. And it made me realize that though the cover to every book is different the "moral of the story" generally remains the same.

Everyone and i mean EVERYONE lives inside their own bubble of comfort. I know its hard to burst it and come out into THE WORLD, but much sooner than later that will happen. They bitch, they plot, they gossip just to get around the corner. Just to remain in their comfort zone and be in the good books of others makes them forget "what goes around, comes back around".

so WHAT I LEARNT is a large number of people fall into this category and i don't need to give a shit about them.

People show off and pretend to be something they are not. Being cool has always been the in thing but WHAT I LEARNT is you're the coolest when you are YOU.

Everything may not be happening for a reason but everything sure is done for a reason, and that reason is self satisfaction. Your intentions may not be bad, you may even be involved in a charitable cause but all acts ultimately come down to be Selfish (YES they do)

WHAT I LEARNT, don't sweat. Even if you make somebody smile, it makes you happy about spreading a smile (so you are doing it for YOURSELF=selfish..creepy)

The 'pleasing personality people' though give their best but are always at a loss. They go against the English alphabet and put 'U' before 'I'. Ultimately the forces of nature show them whose the boss and they remain shattered (been there, done that).

WHAT I LEARNT, not every seed you sow becomes a tree. Neither does every tree give back the sweetest fruit. So put a limit AND respect the Alphabet!

And lastly (quiet literally too because i realized this minutes after i turner 19, so its the most recent) 'you can't play all broken strings, you can't feel anything that your heart don't wanna feel'. Simply saying you can actually fool your mind to believe what you want to believe. Its you who decides if you're happy or sad or angry or irritated. All these emotions have their own space in life and ALL are a state of mind.

So WHAT I LEARNT is that I'm going to chose to be "happpiiieeee" till the time my limbic system supports me!!

cheers, I'm 19 and I evolve!!

The way you Look at it

I close my eyes and all that i see

is everything's black

in front of me.

I wanna cry out but words fail me

I have no choice but

Alone to be

Hoping its a dream, That'll just be a memory,

An when i see you

I know theres a rainbow waiting Just for me :)

my new life

Crouching undercover

Was nurtured from the start

Pampered all along

All that was uttered, considered a Song

Was left on the open road

Had nothing to lean on to

tried finding a safer place,

Even tried solving the life's maze.

But i refused to be agile,

Because its hard to let go.

Cant get the mind to fight

Even a plant grows towards sunlight.