Revalation

The pebbled path

Had lead me to the street

Uneven and sharp stoned

But i still didn't feel a thing

under my two bleeding feet.

I kept on walking

Unsure of the choices i had made

Blazing lights moved towards me,

my eyes they glared

But about death, little i cared.

Questions filled my mind

Thoughts, i tried to consolidate

Was this how it was meant to be

Or was i playing with fate?

Who was i pretending to be

To please whom and with what intent

Why did i have to be

Someone else other than me

How could it make me content?

What was it that i was running after

Or was i running away?

Was i to be the ocean,

Deep, serene and blue

Or be the sky that was casting its hue?

Pondered on my reflection,

It finally dawned upon me

How from my mind i let it flee

6 billion people in the world

And He sent me just to be ME.

Time to Change The Calender

In 2010 i saw myself cross roads of repentance, frustration, hard work, the joy of achieving my goal, fun and ultimately freedom. All this made me a new person all together. And even though i sometimes miss those days, i certainly don't want to go back there because I wanna move ahead.

30th Dec '10 made me wonder what actually would be new in just two days.The Sun would rise in the same way, the birds would chirp in the same tone, the sky would be of the same colour and all the people would just be the same. So why the hype?

And 31st just made me want to go out and have fun on the last day of the year (which is totally opposite to what i felt 24hrs ago). All these years i had always wanted to go out and party but ended up being stuck up so the clock striking 12 on the 31st had made no difference to me. This year too i knew nothing out of the ordinary would happen (though in my mind i was praying it does) leaving me to wonder the importance of the 1st of January.

For everyone individually the new year begins on their birthday, therefore technically the new year begins on a different day for everyone. Okay I understand that for universal unambiguity somebody chose to fix the dates. But why 1st of Jan to be the beginning? It could have been any random day. 1st Jan doesn't even make sense. A new season does not begin, the Earth isn't the farthest or the nearest to the sun that day, the moon isn't lined in a particular way, or any of that so why chose this?

The Hindu calender in this context makes sense because the new year starts with the start of spring, which marks the beginning of new life with the sprouting of seeds. Also its based on the "lunisolar" activities so the makers definitely put some though into it.

The English calender also doesn't account for the extra 0.25 day occurring every year. Why divide the months and weeks of the year in such a way that you have to make up with a leap year after every 3 normal ones?

The Hindu calender system too doesn't have a perfect 365 day year. And it bothers me that if a universal system has to be followed why not make it flawless? Why rectify after every 3 years?? or add a full month after every 32.5 (even that's not a round figure) lunar months??

If anyone knows logical explanations please tell me because all this seems wrong to me.

Anyways a Happy new year (cliche.. my new year started 2months ago) from "the still puzzled and resolution-less this time" Me

Perplexed

Standing at a crossroad we all call life

I wondering why there’s so much to strive

my head was spinning

but the thoughts weren’t winning

was trying to justify what a life I was living.

the left seemed to guide me right

but the right was wrong

what the hell was I thinking

was the question All along.

What I had was wonderful

But I thought it was just a handful

Did I really want more?

Or should this be the last score

I left my heart to explore.

Felt like i was walking on a balancing beam

Does it have to be as difficult as it always seems

Surprisingly, the answer was staring right at me

But like its meant to be,

The beauty of what you have, you never see.

The underappreciated Best friend

I'm tired of being the one you can fall back upon
Tired of being your 'sweety pie'
It pains me that you forget
There are times when even i want to cry.

I'm tired of acting silly
Just to make you smile
How can you not see
Even i need that once in a while.

I made you stand, gave you a shoulder
But why do i have to do it
All by myself when i fall
And when i find my boulder

So i wish to be all alone, even when i'm down
But i fake a smile, i don't bring up the subject
I make my life frown
Just so that yours can be perfect.

After another free trip round the sun..

After another free trip round the sun i haven't been taller, prettier, goofier or any of that but it sure made me "new and improved" in some ways (okay improved might be a little over the top).

Another year went by and i was thrown into different situations. I tried analyzing people, their reaction, my reaction and what could have been my reaction if i were someone else in the given situation. And it made me realize that though the cover to every book is different the "moral of the story" generally remains the same.

Everyone and i mean EVERYONE lives inside their own bubble of comfort. I know its hard to burst it and come out into THE WORLD, but much sooner than later that will happen. They bitch, they plot, they gossip just to get around the corner. Just to remain in their comfort zone and be in the good books of others makes them forget "what goes around, comes back around".

so WHAT I LEARNT is a large number of people fall into this category and i don't need to give a shit about them.

People show off and pretend to be something they are not. Being cool has always been the in thing but WHAT I LEARNT is you're the coolest when you are YOU.

Everything may not be happening for a reason but everything sure is done for a reason, and that reason is self satisfaction. Your intentions may not be bad, you may even be involved in a charitable cause but all acts ultimately come down to be Selfish (YES they do)

WHAT I LEARNT, don't sweat. Even if you make somebody smile, it makes you happy about spreading a smile (so you are doing it for YOURSELF=selfish..creepy)

The 'pleasing personality people' though give their best but are always at a loss. They go against the English alphabet and put 'U' before 'I'. Ultimately the forces of nature show them whose the boss and they remain shattered (been there, done that).

WHAT I LEARNT, not every seed you sow becomes a tree. Neither does every tree give back the sweetest fruit. So put a limit AND respect the Alphabet!

And lastly (quiet literally too because i realized this minutes after i turner 19, so its the most recent) 'you can't play all broken strings, you can't feel anything that your heart don't wanna feel'. Simply saying you can actually fool your mind to believe what you want to believe. Its you who decides if you're happy or sad or angry or irritated. All these emotions have their own space in life and ALL are a state of mind.

So WHAT I LEARNT is that I'm going to chose to be "happpiiieeee" till the time my limbic system supports me!!

cheers, I'm 19 and I evolve!!

The way you Look at it

I close my eyes and all that i see

is everything's black

in front of me.

I wanna cry out but words fail me

I have no choice but

Alone to be

Hoping its a dream, That'll just be a memory,

An when i see you

I know theres a rainbow waiting Just for me :)

my new life

Crouching undercover

Was nurtured from the start

Pampered all along

All that was uttered, considered a Song

Was left on the open road

Had nothing to lean on to

tried finding a safer place,

Even tried solving the life's maze.

But i refused to be agile,

Because its hard to let go.

Cant get the mind to fight

Even a plant grows towards sunlight.

Brain waves in Collg

1. you can do bettetr dan dis, Dont stoop so low

2. Time heals All

3. Sniggi n puni sat on a wall

4. Knowledge of fountain

5. Purneetha n sagar have "high entropy"

6. Erythro Longus ;)

7. Palki Dewan is a Pendrive in short

8.Read between the lines

9. Till it dsnt go into your mastak, dnt put it into ur pustak

10. A lecture shud b lyk a mini skirt, long enuff to cover the essentials and short enuff to keep the interest going.

11.boys read carefully its "memory" nd not MAMMARY

12. 3rd yr mein myoPIA hypermetroPIA daru PIA beedi PIA

13. y u laughin, your married?? :p

It Hurts

It’s strange how one game can make you feel inferior and unwanted. Yes it hurt when forgot to call because of a GAME. It hurts every fourth day when all the memories we shared appear as if they are suddenly forgotten by him. I don’t know if its some kind of hypnosis or charm that they have over him that makes him even forget the letters that spell my name. It hurts when he’s capable of spending almost 3 X 86400 seconds of his life with them but struggles to even spend 7 X 7200 seconds with me every week. I know I’m more important but I fail to understand his way of expressing it. It’s no use thinking about it until I’m able to make him step into my shoes. But I never want him to step into my shoes, because it sure as hell pains.

[Loads of thoughts changed once I talked to him and tried understanding his condition. But the truth is I can runaway from the world but I can’t run away from myself. So I’m being honest as this is what went through my mind that very moment.]

"Puni" is..

i received a message which had a few columns that i had to fill out which would then tell the person what i feel about him. it was pretty sweet and i forwarded it to a bunch of my friends. i got the most adorable and lovely replies. Just to make sure i dont lose them i want to write them.

Here goes:

"puni" is

Ichik:

incomplete without: Ur specs!

Perfect if: U eat non veg! hehe

Best paired with: Ur bf!

Better without: Books!

Nice when: U open ur hair!

Stupid when: When you cry or shout!

Pandit: (anubhav)

incomplete without: Harshu boy!

Perfect if: Taller!

Best paired with: Firas!

Better without: her intelligent mind (i luv u whn u act silly evn though ur not)

Nice when: Speakng on the phn

Stupid when: She defies her high IQ sumtymes wid silly actions

Nilay:

incomplete without: Sulking

Perfect if: Stays the same

Best paired with: Jhaboy. BIg tym..!!

Better without: Books

Nice when: you are nice to her

Stupid when: she is awake

Harshay:

incomplete without: Smile

Perfect if: Slimmer

Best paired with: Animesh kishore d nly person of ur height ;p, obviously ME

Better without: *******

Nice when: Tharki

Stupid when: Being possesive

Assy:

incomplete without: Her loved ones

Perfect if: stays the same

Best paired with: Me..!!

Better without: ppl who dnt c wht she's wrth

Nice when: isnt dealing with reecal or manasi

Stupid when: !! i thot u admitted u alwz are !!

Chakshu:

incomplete without: Smile

Perfect if: a bit taller

Best paired with: Evry1 i know

Better without: Tears

Nice when: wid me.. dunno abt others

Stupid : Always

Firas:

incomplete without : Your laughter

Perfect if: you have more balls

Best paired with: the 4 of us

Better without: The 3 of us

Nice when: Aways to me

Stupid : ALWAYS..!!

i hope all of 'em love me forever as much as..!!

happie happie happie..!!